You trust each other, yes, but...would there be a moment where he'd use you for his own needs above your own? I guess I'm just trying to understand what your master is like.
[ it is years and years of practice that keeps him from barking out a laugh, at first, but...
as he takes it with a little more weight, he watches anaido's hand move, observant as ever, and takes a long moment before he speaks again. when he does, he's quiet. ] ...I was trapped before, too. [ god. wasn't he. ]
Where are you, then? [ yin yu asks, finally looking back up again. his tone's cautiously searching. ]
Mmm. Not exactly. I mean, yes, we have murders and mysteries and everything. But a mystery novel with a brilliant detective works on certain principles. Someone must die. The detective comes in the story. They find the clues, talk to the suspects, seek out the truth. And then, at the end, they present their answer, and justice is served.
[He shakes his head.]
But "brilliant detectives" can't exist in reality, Yin Yu. It's a cursed existence. Someone must die to give their life meaning. And they exist only to solve mysteries. They work at the whim of their creator. When the book closes, their existence ends, until the next mystery must be solved.
yin yu stays quiet as long as anaido speaks. there's a lot he doesn't really understand, but..
well, it makes sense. look at the reality they live in, where today they caught one murderer, and left three bodies unsolved. look at the people they've lost. scapegoated away.
being at the whim of your creator feels familiar, too. ] When you say you're a tool, you say so quite literally.
[He's not exactly fictional...maybe. He just chuckles lightly.]
But essentially, yes. A brilliant detective is made for a purpose. And that purpose is to solve the mystery of the death of Kaeru-kun. Technically, solving other murders isn't my role.
[ roles, murders, detectives... reflective of their situation, but somehow, not at all. ]
It is none of our roles. [ well.. clearly, their success rate isn't so great. he doesn't say so meanly, just solemnly aware of their failings. there are a lot of things that anaido is saying that are cryptic and lost on him, but he tries to understand them, anyway. ]
And so, have you not solved such a mystery? In your own realm.
[ that twinges something in his chest. familiar. bitter. the confused look on his face fades, mouth tightening behind his mask, instead. these old memories have been stirred so often this week, that they're on the forefront. ]
...When your existence is driven by the belief of others, and they all move on to someone else instead, you have disappeared.
[ believe it or not, they are actually pretty similar. dreams, huh. ]
[ ugh. it's like lifting rocks trying to say things like this, the weight of his own past so deep and heavy that yin yu has buried it li under the earth. but there's a sense of duty, and... maybe a bit of camaraderie. who knows. maybe this person understands him better than he would have expected. what a strange twist of fate.
he stares at the fire instead of anaido, and speaks somewhat distantly, as if reciting from a textbook. ] There are two types of gods, in my realm. Literature gods are masters of knowledge, and martial gods are masters of cultivational arts, fighting, so on and so forth. To ascend to godhood, a mortal must do something extraordinary, through practice, hard work, or through natural talent. Soldiers, generals, heroes, politicians - such people can cultivate to immortality and walk among the heavenly realm for eternity as heavenly officials.
Mortals pray to the gods for many things. Success, safety, healing, hope... the gods listen to prayers of mortals and attempt to answer them when they are able. [ if they want to. most gods are self-centered, in his experience. ] And the strength of a god is inherently dependent on those believers and those prayers.
[He listens well. Mortals ascending to the level of gods. He squints at Yin Yu for a moment, and wonders...]
So you're a god, Yin Yu?
[Since he said his existence used to be based on other's beliefs - it's a logical conclusion. And if that's so...ah, how exciting. A brilliant detective, and a god. Like something out of a fairy tale.]
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What do you mean?
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You trust each other, yes, but...would there be a moment where he'd use you for his own needs above your own? I guess I'm just trying to understand what your master is like.
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yeah. ] I don't really have any needs of my own.
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[He smiles a little to himself.]
Guess we have something a little in common.
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anyway that's next week. right now his tone just stays even. ]
...Is that so?
[ do they? from what he knows, anaido... had a need of his own. he knows, because yin yu more or less gave it to him, when he killed wen ning. ]
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[A hand moves up to his right side of his forehead, staying there for a second before brushing back through his hair.]
I kind of envy you, you know? Because you at least have a role you want to be in. I don't want to be where I am. You're powerful that way.
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as he takes it with a little more weight, he watches anaido's hand move, observant as ever, and takes a long moment before he speaks again. when he does, he's quiet. ] ...I was trapped before, too. [ god. wasn't he. ]
Where are you, then? [ yin yu asks, finally looking back up again. his tone's cautiously searching. ]
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[What a mysterious statement. His eyes flick upwards at the statement that Yin Yu was trapped, too, but "before"...huh.]
Do you read mystery novels, Yin Yu? Or at least know about them?
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yin yu pauses. ] ...somewhat like the situation we're in now, correct? [ you know with all the murder and the mystery solving. ]
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Mmm. Not exactly. I mean, yes, we have murders and mysteries and everything. But a mystery novel with a brilliant detective works on certain principles. Someone must die. The detective comes in the story. They find the clues, talk to the suspects, seek out the truth. And then, at the end, they present their answer, and justice is served.
[He shakes his head.]
But "brilliant detectives" can't exist in reality, Yin Yu. It's a cursed existence. Someone must die to give their life meaning. And they exist only to solve mysteries. They work at the whim of their creator. When the book closes, their existence ends, until the next mystery must be solved.
So really...what I am is...an abomination.
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yin yu stays quiet as long as anaido speaks. there's a lot he doesn't really understand, but..
well, it makes sense. look at the reality they live in, where today they caught one murderer, and left three bodies unsolved. look at the people they've lost. scapegoated away.
being at the whim of your creator feels familiar, too. ] When you say you're a tool, you say so quite literally.
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[He's not exactly fictional...maybe. He just chuckles lightly.]
But essentially, yes. A brilliant detective is made for a purpose. And that purpose is to solve the mystery of the death of Kaeru-kun. Technically, solving other murders isn't my role.
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It is none of our roles. [ well.. clearly, their success rate isn't so great. he doesn't say so meanly, just solemnly aware of their failings. there are a lot of things that anaido is saying that are cryptic and lost on him, but he tries to understand them, anyway. ]
And so, have you not solved such a mystery? In your own realm.
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[???????]
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....I'm sorry?
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Is it that surprising? Hahaha! I don't think it'll help you if I tell you that I technically don't exist, either!
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anyway. give him a second. ok. he needs a second. ]
...That makes two of us, I suppose. [ gods in heaven. talking to anaido is exhausting. ]
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[It's obvious from him grinning like a fox with a rabbit in its mouth that he is taking way too much amusement in this.]
Is that the kind of existence you have, Yin Yu?
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...When your existence is driven by the belief of others, and they all move on to someone else instead, you have disappeared.
[ believe it or not, they are actually pretty similar. dreams, huh. ]
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[The amused look drops, and he blinks, surprised. He didn't think...Yin Yu?]
So...you have to rely on people to believe in you in order to keep existing as you are?
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[ that time the bitterness comes out in his words. hidden, maybe, by their distance, his hands flex and clench into fists.
when he speaks again, it just sounds tired, as his hands relax, again. ] What do you know about the gods and the heavens?
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[A shake of his his head, but his curiosity is piqued, to say the least.]
Tell me, please.
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he stares at the fire instead of anaido, and speaks somewhat distantly, as if reciting from a textbook. ] There are two types of gods, in my realm. Literature gods are masters of knowledge, and martial gods are masters of cultivational arts, fighting, so on and so forth. To ascend to godhood, a mortal must do something extraordinary, through practice, hard work, or through natural talent. Soldiers, generals, heroes, politicians - such people can cultivate to immortality and walk among the heavenly realm for eternity as heavenly officials.
Mortals pray to the gods for many things. Success, safety, healing, hope... the gods listen to prayers of mortals and attempt to answer them when they are able. [ if they want to. most gods are self-centered, in his experience. ] And the strength of a god is inherently dependent on those believers and those prayers.
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So you're a god, Yin Yu?
[Since he said his existence used to be based on other's beliefs - it's a logical conclusion. And if that's so...ah, how exciting. A brilliant detective, and a god. Like something out of a fairy tale.]
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I was.
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cw: mentions of suicidal ideation
I NEVER? TAGGED THIS BACK? CRYSTAL I'M ASHAMED OF ME
hugs sisi. i love u
i love U i am so sorry kfldjshk
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