[ROMANTIC COURTING FOR HIS ZOMBIE BOYFRIEND... Wei Wuxian sits up further, so he can turn and face Anaido instead of lazily tilting his head to one side.]
Hah! Goodness, what a question. [He seems delighted in his punkassest of hearts, though, and his expression is bright with amusement.]
There are a lot of things people do! Throw flowers during cultivation tournaments, buy a couple of nice, fat chickens, pen out embarrassingly long confessional letters... Are you looking to learn some proper courting? You know, if it's him, he'd love anything you have to share.
[JUST CASUALLY TALKING LIKE THEY'RE ALL GONNA LIVE it's fine.]
[Whoah, that's a lot off the bat. Cultivation tournaments? They don't have those here. Chickens? Maybe he could get some... Letters would be nice, he thinks. And then, at the actual question, he nods.]
Well, I'd like to take him on a date, you see. [So optimistic?] So I was wondering if there were specific things he'd like.
[He hums, head canting to the side a little as he drums his fingers against his chin. So optimistic???]
I see, I see... Well! A date can be anything at all and not just traditional courting then, can't it? That boy loves fussing over other people, so he'd probably find it touching if you enjoyed the food he made for you or something, hah. Ah - and I'd bet he'd love sentimental gestures, too! Things that come from the heart! Is there anything you like to do outside of your brilliant detective work? Something you might be able to turn into a cute gift or a fun evening?
[If he notices that little demon glimmer, he doesn't say anything about it. Instead, with a little hum and nod of agreement:]
Best one you could ask for! You'd enjoy his food a lot - but you'd probably enjoy anything he gave you.
[He knows that sappy romance life... strangely enough......]
Mm, I think he'd like that, too! If you could find a garden like this one, it'd be all the better. Most of the gardens back home are so finely curated that it feels like you can't walk anywhere without dirtying up the very dirt itself, hah. So silly. [SO SILLY.
And because his cursed ass knows flower language for some reason:] We have some of the same flowers at home as the garden here, though! There are a lot of good picks for a romantic bouquet. Orchids are always nice! Pink ones mean you enjoy spending time with who you're giving them to, white orchids you give to someone who's dear, red for passion, so on. Peonies are good for romance - just not herbaceous ones! I don't think he knows too much about floral language, though.
Peonies...pink orchids...I see. I heard red and white roses are good, too.
[Thanks, Sanji.]
That's fine. I can teach him about it, even though I'm also new to it, haha. [He gives a happy nod, his cheeks dusted a light pink.] Anything else? You said that there's dating versus traditional courting...what does traditional courting involve? I assume what you mentioned before, with the chickens and the letters...
Mm, I've heard that, too! White is a funerary color where we come from, though, but that might still be suiting.
[Dead people jokes, haHA.]
But yes, yes! The chickens and the letters. [Hm. Maybe normal people do not court like that.] Sometimes it's all very boring and dry, though. Going to the matchmaker, presenting a dowry, so on, so on. Lots of arranged marriages and stuffy gift-giving throughout the years! Modern dates are much more fun. But maybe he'd like a chicken, anyway?
A chicken...I guess I could take a chicken here, but...I think those chickens belong to other people.
[HmmmMMMM he will have to work around that, somewhere.]
[There's that glimmer in his eyes again, though, as he turns to Wei Wuxian.]
I just want to do as much as I can for him, you see. We could have all the time in the world here, or none at all. So I want to make the biggest impression.
[Please don't kidnap someone else's chickens Anaido. Do not follow in Wei Wuxian's footsteps, who has stolen almost every chicken he's eaten.]
But that's true, that's true. Hah, it's too bad we don't have anything like that petting zoo where we come from. He does love animals! Even if he can't really enjoy the soft ones by touch, these days... Ah, I should work on that.
[nts come up with a way to restore physical sensation to zombies.]
He's very cute! [(wwx cooing at rotting bodies) CUTEST.] He might like riding horseback again too, honestly... It's been a while.
[He'd have to like, chop the chains off beforehand too, probably, because the constant rattling may spook them... ANOTHER THING TO CONSIDER FOR LATER. As for that, he just raises his hands.]
I think by now we've all seen that just about anything is possible, for better or for worse. [Ah, the magic of murderous jamjars...] If it's something Wen Ning might like, then it's something I can work on.
[So many things he doesn't know! It kind of sucks! That's fine. He's a willing learner, for the most part.]
I...think he'd really like that. [And he kind of glances away, rose tint in his cheeks. Wen Ning being able to feel touch...that would be such an amazing surprise for him, he knows.] Ahahaha. He could feel when I hold his hand...or...kiss him...
Thank you. [And then finally, he just decides to say it.] I'm planning on taking Black Shadows - [He winks.] - on a date, so...everything you told me is super helpful.
[PROBABLY UNSURPRISINGLY, Wei Wuxian... does not seem surprised. There's a little twinkle of amusement in his demon eye, and he nods.]
I would, I would! It's only fair for you to be able to treat our dearest director to the best date possible, you know? I have faith that you'll make it something unforgettable, friend!
[There's some fondness in his smile, next. Sometimes you can't do much for your zombie bff besides give him trauma, so you're just endlessly grateful when someone else comes along to fill in the gaps you can't manage to cover on your own.]
I do mean what I said - that I think anything you do at all would be appreciated by them. But I understand wanting to make it as special as possible. It's sweet, you know?
[And if anyone deserves that sort of sweetness, after everything...]
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He blinks, openly curious, and props himself up so he's like, half-sitting instead of fully flopped over.]
I don't mind! What is it? Come, come - have a seat. [Patting the spot beside himself!]
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I...well. This might be a bit of an odd question, but...
[A pause.]
Ah, in your culture...what do people do when they court others? Like...romantically.
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Hah! Goodness, what a question. [He seems delighted in his punkassest of hearts, though, and his expression is bright with amusement.]
There are a lot of things people do! Throw flowers during cultivation tournaments, buy a couple of nice, fat chickens, pen out embarrassingly long confessional letters... Are you looking to learn some proper courting? You know, if it's him, he'd love anything you have to share.
[JUST CASUALLY TALKING LIKE THEY'RE ALL GONNA LIVE it's fine.]
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Well, I'd like to take him on a date, you see. [So optimistic?] So I was wondering if there were specific things he'd like.
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I see, I see... Well! A date can be anything at all and not just traditional courting then, can't it? That boy loves fussing over other people, so he'd probably find it touching if you enjoyed the food he made for you or something, hah. Ah - and I'd bet he'd love sentimental gestures, too! Things that come from the heart! Is there anything you like to do outside of your brilliant detective work? Something you might be able to turn into a cute gift or a fun evening?
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Well, I'd like to enjoy his cooking! I bet he's an amazing cook.
[And he continues, grinning a little as he talks.]
But I was thinking about maybe making him a bouquet of romantic flowers, and taking him through the gardens like we have here, haha.
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Best one you could ask for! You'd enjoy his food a lot - but you'd probably enjoy anything he gave you.
[He knows that sappy romance life... strangely enough......]
Mm, I think he'd like that, too! If you could find a garden like this one, it'd be all the better. Most of the gardens back home are so finely curated that it feels like you can't walk anywhere without dirtying up the very dirt itself, hah. So silly. [SO SILLY.
And because his cursed ass knows flower language for some reason:] We have some of the same flowers at home as the garden here, though! There are a lot of good picks for a romantic bouquet. Orchids are always nice! Pink ones mean you enjoy spending time with who you're giving them to, white orchids you give to someone who's dear, red for passion, so on. Peonies are good for romance - just not herbaceous ones! I don't think he knows too much about floral language, though.
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[Thanks, Sanji.]
That's fine. I can teach him about it, even though I'm also new to it, haha. [He gives a happy nod, his cheeks dusted a light pink.] Anything else? You said that there's dating versus traditional courting...what does traditional courting involve? I assume what you mentioned before, with the chickens and the letters...
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[Dead people jokes, haHA.]
But yes, yes! The chickens and the letters. [Hm. Maybe normal people do not court like that.] Sometimes it's all very boring and dry, though. Going to the matchmaker, presenting a dowry, so on, so on. Lots of arranged marriages and stuffy gift-giving throughout the years! Modern dates are much more fun. But maybe he'd like a chicken, anyway?
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[HmmmMMMM he will have to work around that, somewhere.]
[There's that glimmer in his eyes again, though, as he turns to Wei Wuxian.]
I just want to do as much as I can for him, you see. We could have all the time in the world here, or none at all. So I want to make the biggest impression.
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[Please don't kidnap someone else's chickens Anaido. Do not follow in Wei Wuxian's footsteps, who has stolen almost every chicken he's eaten.]
But that's true, that's true. Hah, it's too bad we don't have anything like that petting zoo where we come from. He does love animals! Even if he can't really enjoy the soft ones by touch, these days... Ah, I should work on that.
[nts come up with a way to restore physical sensation to zombies.]
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He does? Ahahaha, wow. It's hard for me to believe he could get cuter, but...
[And a tilt of his head.]
You could work on that? Restoring touch to him? Could that be possible?
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[He'd have to like, chop the chains off beforehand too, probably, because the constant rattling may spook them... ANOTHER THING TO CONSIDER FOR LATER. As for that, he just raises his hands.]
I think by now we've all seen that just about anything is possible, for better or for worse. [Ah, the magic of murderous jamjars...] If it's something Wen Ning might like, then it's something I can work on.
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[So many things he doesn't know! It kind of sucks! That's fine. He's a willing learner, for the most part.]
I...think he'd really like that. [And he kind of glances away, rose tint in his cheeks. Wen Ning being able to feel touch...that would be such an amazing surprise for him, he knows.] Ahahaha. He could feel when I hold his hand...or...kiss him...
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[Being an amnesiac sounds like a rough time... He thinks briefly back to Grune, hm. Well.
WOW THOUGH WHAT A SAP. He'll set aside his depressos to lean forward with a teasing goblin grin.]
How cute, how earnest! That sort of affection will do him a lot of good, mm. I'll see what I can do about it as soon as I'm able!
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[HORSE-RIDING?? Oh boy.]
Thank you. [And then finally, he just decides to say it.] I'm planning on taking Black Shadows - [He winks.] - on a date, so...everything you told me is super helpful.
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I would, I would! It's only fair for you to be able to treat our dearest director to the best date possible, you know? I have faith that you'll make it something unforgettable, friend!
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I'll do my best! They deserve a good time, especially in this crazy place. So...anything for them, really.
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I do mean what I said - that I think anything you do at all would be appreciated by them. But I understand wanting to make it as special as possible. It's sweet, you know?
[And if anyone deserves that sort of sweetness, after everything...]